i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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