i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
