Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize