it hurts more in the daytime
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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