one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
