I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
