Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
