she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Let's get the cat blown out
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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