I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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