yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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