I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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