I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
