The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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