no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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