im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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