I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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