So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
