If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
