I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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