In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
