we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
