If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
