farters have to be the big spoon...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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