my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
