Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
