sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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