I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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