My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
