My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
