Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
