It's Friday. Sex?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
