So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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