I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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