If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize