ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
How's work?
Spinning.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
