i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
