Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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