I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My life is pants optional.
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