Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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