Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
