Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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