I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
