he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
