Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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