i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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