Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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