there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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