is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize