i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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