Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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