you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom