I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂