well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
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someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
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did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.