my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
