shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
