Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize