he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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