I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
