Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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