The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
