We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
