The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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