I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
