He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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